Sunday, July 27, 2008

Finally feeling better

This was in me the whole week. The one I'm referring to here. I just want to let it all out and finally get over it.

Last Sunday, our preacher discussed about turning Can’t into Can. As part of her topic, taking criticism positively was discussed. Maybe the Lord was trying to teach me something last week because I encountered criticism right after that service.

It was my birthday. I was the worship leader. I was excited. I was happy. I arrived to church early. I was flattered with everyone’s praises about how I looked. A friend even told me to wear it again. I was expecting that they greet me but to no avail. Well, I thought, that’s okay. At least they gave me compliments…. enough to make me feel better. I never knew happiness will end quickly when ironically, a person quoted a phrase which hurt me. And to think it all happened on my birthday. Instead of birthday greetings, I received disapproval.

What happened? …..For the first time in my whole life I was embarrassed in front of many just because of the dress I wore. I didn’t understand why that person was so strict and ill-tempered that day. He complained about everything…just right after the church service which I think was so untimely! After his long grumbling he looked at me with stern voice and facial expression and said “…don’t wear that again!” …and left. I was stunned. All of us were. But still I didn’t show them that I was affected or hurt. I acted casual. After our meeting, I immediately went home….feeling low. I almost cried. Now I know what the feeling is when nobody remembers your birthday and instead of greeting you, you’re reprimanded… (I don’t want to sound sentimental here, just sharing how I felt)

When I got home, I didn’t tell anyone about what happened. After a while, I received a number of SMS…hah…they finally remembered. They were sorry for what happened. They were all surprised about the person’s statement. A friend also sent me encouraging words which lightened my mood. I sighed….. I know I should take those words positively but for that moment, I find it hard. What was the problem? I know I didn’t violate any dress code…and I even received approval from a number of people.

After what happened I was thinking, how will I deal with that person again? These were on my thoughts until Wednesday. It’s our midweek service. I attended because I was again the worship leader. When I arrived, our head approached me and asked how I was. I said I’m good. She advised me to not let things like that discourage me or get in my way in serving the Lord. Honestly, I became so much conscious now of my look when singing in front of our congregation. Sigh…

Before the service end, he came. I just smiled plainly at him.

All week I was not okay. But after talking to my husband last night, I felt lighter. Hubby has always been the person who really makes me feel better when I’m depressed and sad.

Tomorrow, I’ll see him again… I’ll brace myself with courage because I’m going to sing again. I’m not doing this for him but to the Lord. I know I can’t please everyone. We all have our own perspectives about something. Like what our leader said, I’ll go on. This won’t stop me from doing my work for the Lord.

Whew! That’s it… I feel a lot better now.

If you’re wondering what was the dress? I’m wearing something like this, only with shorter sleeves. Below the knee length. Black thighs and black shoes.

I am tasked to write about acne treatment again...


MiLeTTe said...

aba, bkit naman ganun. i don't think there is something wrong with the dress. although syempre i did not see you personally pero with the pic na binigay mo, i wonder what's wrong with him.

anyway, at least ok ka na. deadma na lang sa ganyan.

~ Mhay ~ said...

Alam mo sis, I was really thinking bakit ganun. Kasi everybody gave me compliments, siya lang talaga. E ang kaso siya medyo may right to say something necause matagal na siya sa church and head ng technical dept namin. Someone told me siguro daw yung color, di maganda pag nagtamaan ng lights...for me naman, okay lang pero sana he said it discreetly. Haay.... buti na lng okay na ko :D

MiLeTTe said...

sana kung naooffend sya sa color or sa dress sinekreto na lang nya noh. o kaya binulungan ka na lang nya.

~ Mhay ~ said...

Yeah...sabi nila ganun daw talaga siya. Cguro nobody ever told him how to do criticism the right way kaya he thought his way is okay. Anyway...cguro nga kung ikaw ang nakakaintindi initindihin na lang. :)