Monday, April 23, 2007

Relief

We finally got rid of her.

I’m talking about our helper. We sent her away yesterday. She is really a pain in the neck, a nuisance. I won’t describe what she has done in full detail since I didn’t blog about it here from the start. I'm just thankful that it's over. Now we’re feeling better. No more headaches, no more discreet rising temper, no more secret irritations, no more repeated, unanswered, unmet demands. We’re back to our old set-up but I think this is way better for us. The experience we had with her is really a challenge and a test of our patience. Truth be told, we feel sorry for her. But then again, we have to send her.

It helps that we manage to control our selves. That we are always reminded to be peaceful and patient. That we should be slow to anger, and abounding in love...(as the bible says). If not, she might go home limping! (that's a joke, lol!).

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Soul-searching

I have a confession to make. I’m guilty--of not doing the things a normal Christian should be doing. I’m missing the point and not going on the right track. This nudged me into a serious soul-searching (one thing I should have done during the Lenten season). And so I thought I need some serious heart change…and fix my self. Really.

As I was on that state, I found out that I’m really fallible. I’m messing up in my personal, social and spiritual life. And that isn’t pretty. Lately, I’ve soaked into procrastination (again) and the effect isn’t good as well. What's more, several thoughts flood into my stream of consciousness. 1) The thought of Jerry’s working abroad, 2) my work 3) my ministry (which I know I am not doing really good so far) 4) my family (and how to manage it) 5) our being a couple yet attend two different churches 6) my social life, and 7) my personal relationship with God. I’m juggling these things, and making my self always in control and I’m beginning to give up. I know that if I will be rated on this aspects from 1-10 (being 10 as the highest), I would start covering my face to shame. I failed (somehow, in some ways). I’ve been bad (not the real meaning of it). Delinquent. Idle. Pessimistic. Sloppy. Hasty. Cynical. Easily-Angered. Irritated. Characters which I should’ve not embraced in the first place. I am struggling to be a people-pleaser and in making my self look good or better. But my struggles resulted futile. I kept on complaining, but neither doing. I kept on hoping but not really praying. I kept my self busy when I should have to pause and reflect. And urged my self to become busy when I feel I’m wasting my time in nothing. I don’t even have time to talk to Him (because I. am. busy.) when He should be the FIRST on my schedule everyday. That’s pathetic.

This things, somehow, sometimes, takes my joy away. I know this is not healthy. I know this is not good. I know this is not Biblical. And this is not good when I should have my joy in Christ. It’s hard when you are not on the mood to smile. If you were loomed by a reprimand (again) first hours of the morning (it happend today). And what did I do? I sulked. I frowned…and felt bad. And I felt bitter. And that made my whole day and my whole environment gloomy as well. Inadvertently, I was reminded by Jon Walker to be a dispenser of JOY. I was stabbed. I felt guilty. Here I am calling my self a Christian and yet losing my joy...

This is what I found out and what resulted my soul-sourching. It is really refreshing to take a pause sometimes from our busy world and reflect. Well, it's true, despite my very less-than-perfect discipline, I’m deeply committed to pursuing a deep relationship with God. And this is simply a reminder to myself that I’m not perfect. I'm fallible. Sinful. And in total need of the Father’s grace and forgiveness. I'm still on the process of refining. But thank God for His love, His grace, His comfort, His forgiveness and most amazingly, His redemption. I'm now re-surrendering my life...Oh God, I’m so sorry, here I am, once again, please refine me.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Worker



It's an awful day. It's difficult working with hard to please people. It's terrible. Since they cannot do more with what happened yesterday, they're making every effort to put me in thwarting situation.

It's really different if you're the one on top.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Mixed Emotions

Right now I'm torn between bliss and melancholy. Hubby is leaving soon. His application was approved and he's now processing his requirements to work abroad. Yes, that fast. He just applied last week and immediately got in. A ready visa is already waiting for him. He might not be here on our daughter's birthday. Sad...

I know this is what he's been praying for…what we've been hoping to come. But now that it's being handed to us by God, I feel that I'm still not ready for this...not yet...not now. I'm happy for him but the news makes me quite dejected. If we could just live an affluent life here...together, we'll let this opportunity passed. Neither one of us had to leave. But we can't. On the other hand, I know this will help us. A big help. It's just that, the thought of separation is daunting for me. I'm scared, but I know I must be strong. I must endure...We must endure.

But on the brighter side, it's just two years. I know two years will just pass by swiftly...

Hope I'm not just consoling my self with that statement...or am I?

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Summer

Oh how I love summer! The beach…the sun…the Halo-halo (a Filipino refreshment with crushed ice, mixed fruits, beans, milk, and topped with Leche Flan. Yummy!) …and ice cold Pepsi…and of course, outings and long week-end vacation. And speaking of outing, we just had our family outing last Thursday.

During this time of the month, its hard to find a summer getaway that is budget and commuter friendly. We have kids who'll go with us and a long drive is quite tiring for them so the place should be accessible. We cut down our list to places near Marikina and stop wandering far from Metro Manila. Auspiciously, we found a haven in the heart of Antipolo, Loreland Farm and Resort .



It was such a nice place if you don't want to go far. The 30-minute trip (from Marikina City) is also quite enjoying as you can see an overlooking site of the metropolis plus the cool breeze that caresses the face (you should open your car windows to feel this :D). And the place.....breathtaking! We went there as early as 6:30am since we don't have any reservation (the resort do not have reservation policy as it was on a first-come-first-serve basis). When we arrived, I just noticed that the cashier's and entrance areas are already crowded. I supposed we're not the only group who had the idea of going sooo early! :D

It was Holy Thursday and yet the resort was packed with people – young and old - in swimwear! As far I know, Catholics usually celebrate Holy Week with retreats and self-sanctification but maybe religious practices changes as time goes…or are they Catholics? Hmmm…I’m not sure.

Anyway, I didn't know that Loreland is quite big. It has gazebos, function halls, rest houses, treehouse, playground, volley ball and table tennis courts, wooden cottages, sauna and jacuzzi, and a number of pools -- eight to be exact. They can accomodate even a large function such as weddings. The atmosphere is truly relaxing and refreshing. Green trees are present everywhere. The whole environment pleases the eyes.

Our stay lasted until 5pm. Enough to get our fill of the cool water, sunburns and aching muscles! :D. But then, I could say that everyone enjoyed it albeit the rain :D (it actually rained during the afternoon!). And I personally enjoyed it compare to our trip last year. Last year was boring and I was even frustratred. I did not have a summeriffic fun since I am still carrying Jaden in my tummy. The uneasiness and heaviness and the heat of the season makes everything uncomfortable for me. But now, time sure flies…she enjoyed the summer with us this year! :D.



We packed up, and prepared ourselves to go. But we will never forget this new found highland haven..we will surely come back.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

10 months

credits:
Shabby Princess Festival Freebie Kit

Monday, April 02, 2007

Events

The past week was full of happy memories...Memories to cherished and to be thankful for...

We started the week with a healthy Jaden around. So playful! Mimics everything she see you do.


Wednesday, we celebrated dad's 57th birthday. We ate at Riverbanks "dampa". We feasted to our all-time favorite, grilled tuna and buttered shrimp..yummm!

Friday, we attended our friend and officemate's wedding. We arrived late, but as they say..it's better late than never! :D

Jaden also turned 10 (months) that day but I arrived late that evening so we celebrate it the following day.


It's amazing that we can find things to be thankful for in our mundane life...

God is good!